A few weeks ago we came home to discover that our air conditioner wasn’t working. That lead to an unplanned stay with my in-laws for several days, and I realized something as we were crashing their home: Their house is a lot more restful than mine.

Personally, I crave calm, but it seems as if I always get chaos instead. So I tried to analyze what they were doing right and I was doing wrong.

Was it that they had fewer toys? Fewer people? Less furniture? More spare rooms? Or was it that their calendar was simpler than ours, with breathing space organically infused into every week?

The answer is yes – to all of that and more – but also, not quite. Sure our stage of life contributes to the crazy; it’s not unusual to have 8-10 kids running around our house on any given summer day. But, the other side of it is that, for most women, home equals projects.

No matter if you’re a family of one or of many, home is the place where you fold clothes, make beds, cook meals, wash dishes, scrub toilets, mop floors, vacuum carpets, dust baseboards, organize cabinets, paint walls, plant flowers, and basically Proverbs 31 your days away.

So it’s no wonder you feel so calm when you escape to a hotel or a friend’s guest room. You’re off the clock! Your fix-me, fold-me, find-me projects are not staring you down, judging your every Netflix moment. You’re freeeee!

So what can we do to enjoy a little bit of freedom even in our project management home life? Here are four small steps I’m taking towards rest at home:

1. Acknowledge the season

There are certain things about your current level of chaos that you can’t change because of your current stage of life. [Case in point: I had to pause writing this paragraph to let my six-year-old out of the dog cage because his older brother locked him inside. #eyeroll #lifewithboys]. But we must acknowledge the blessings that surround our busyness. No stage of life is immune to challenges. You are where you are, right now, because that is where God has you. Acknowledge His sovereignty in the season and thank Him for every interruption and distraction. They are often signs of a life full of blessings.

2. Find a corner of calm

Even if your house is turned completely upside down in a remodel or house guests or post-vacation laundry, you can still carve out a small, no-chaos zone for yourself. Do you have a closet you could declutter quickly? A corner chair in your bedroom? A place in your dining room that you hardly ever use? Even if you have to turn and face the wall instead of the mess, find one spot at home and declare it to be your personal spot of calm. Guard it. Protect it. Go there often and spend time in prayer. [p.s. Don’t forget the bathroom, bathtub, or shower as possibilities!]

3. Give yourself grace

You know that to-do list you have? What would be the worst thing that would happen if you chopped that baby in half? So you don’t get it all done right now? So you don’t get it all done this week or this month, or even this year? Is that really the end of the world? How many things are on that list because they’re urgent rather than important? Sometimes we miss the most important things in life because we’re so distracted by the small, everyday, insignificant responsibilities. Let a few of those slide in exchange for a meaningful conversation, an intentional connection, or a memory-making moment.

4. Change the scenery

Sometimes all it takes is a few hours outside for your entire perspective to change. Where can you go and what can you see that will bring peace to your soul, even if for just a short time? Can you wake up early and watch the sun rise from your back porch? Can you go for an evening walk or bike ride? Maybe there’s a quiet coffee shop you can visit or a cubicle in your local library? Find a temporary change of scenery – away from home – and allow yourself to enjoy the escape. The to-do list isn’t going anywhere, and you’ll feel rested and recharged when you return.

What about you? What steps do you take to enjoy rest at home?